Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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