ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
