That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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