Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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