I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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