so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
from now on my penis is your penis
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
