I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
