woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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