is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
