I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
