I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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