what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I currently don't understand fingers.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
