last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Randomize