My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
