do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
