I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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