you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
tell me about the eggs
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
