I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
