when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
