he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
high people should be assigned attendants
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
