So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
