Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize