2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
