Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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