im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
