I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i believe in u and ur pee
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
