I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
