i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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