evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
