my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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