final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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