Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
