Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
