I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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