oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
