Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
