True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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