Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
