Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ketchup is God's man juice
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
