can u get pink eye on your cock?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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