Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
