Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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