thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
