my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
