You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
