last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
