We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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