Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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