I am puke
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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