People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
