Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is Oprah even human
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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