1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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