but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
