I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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