1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
