Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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