Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
