My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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