also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
