I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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