"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
