Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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