quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
