Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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