Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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