Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He felt like a one man threesome
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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