People with herpes should wear stickers.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
