My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
