On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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