Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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