HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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