man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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