i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
